wishing you all the best bro....

After a long day at home, I figured things out. I kept myself busy. The only reason is because I didn't want to think about what happened last night or what ever happened in the past. I actually felt a lot better telling out everything that i have kept in my heart. All this while, it was stuck in my heart, in my mind, and within my soul. I actually told someone that I know nothing off. She was a good listener though. I didn't tell my best friend about all this as I never want her to worry about me. I've kept it for so long, and now that I've said it all out, I feel a lot better. Anyway, my brother is going to abdroad to study. I would like to wish him safe journey and wish him all the luck in his education. I really hope that whatever he is going to do is for the best of everyone and most importantly, himself. I'm glad in a way that he is going to study. I really hope that he really does this properely as this is part of his future. A big step into the future to be exact. If he blows this, he is done for. Why am I always saying about others but not about myself? I always advice people on what to do, but seldom give myself that kind of encouragement. I've realise this long ago and I knew that I have to give myself some self-encouragement as well. Anyway, I just hope for a brighter future for everyone. I don't wish to see anyone left behind. All the best in everything you do lil brother. We may not see each other eye to eye, but you're still my brother. Good luck, and if there is anything, I'm here to be confronted. Take my advice, be patient, be strong, be motivated and go for the furthest. Take care.....have a safe journey!!

its just the memories...tats all...

All of a sudden things just went from clear to confusions, curiousity, anger and heartburn. I guess it's a really bad idea to talk to your ex about the past. Stupid brain of mine! Why do you have to think about things that are already in the past?!?! Why can't you think about the present or maybe the future perhaps?!?! I really am speechless right now. I cried while I was chating. These tears somehow just pour out of nowhere. The one plan I hope with my true heart that would come true actually didn't made it. Now that I have learnt that what you plan is not neccessary at all to come true. Like what my ex said to me, 'we were really really close to making that plan work...but sadly everything that we do, it also depends on each others feelings'. I take that statement as a lesson in life. Apart of that, I also realise that, whenever you plan something, make sure you have the conffident to do so. However, I really do not believe that someone could just all of a sudden change their minds and twist to something different in interest. Seriously, I think all this is a big mistake! It should never have to be this way. It should never have ended like that! Everytime a relationship do not work out, people tend to say things like that. Then, they will start blaming the other side for the relationship break down. Isn't it weird that we do not see ourselves as being at fault? There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. I always thought that when I'm with someone new, things would change in all means and that would be a perfect relationship. I guess I had the wrong theory. What I'm trying to say here is, i shouldn't have judged a relationship the way I use to. I will never ever predict the future anymore. I would not see us both as being together in the future. I am going to leave it in the hands of whoever is in charge of it. I'm just going with the flow. Out of all my ex relationship, only 3 out of 6 previous relationships left me a huge impact on my life. Everyday I make a mistake and I learn from it. If I were to be given another chance, I would really like to restart all my relationship and see where it leads me now that I know what we did wrong. For now, I'm happy the way I am. I'm glad I found you. As for the others, I would like to wish you all a happy life with whoever that replaced me(hahaha)....Felt useless...

some of my dog disection picz...

Like I promise yesterday, I'm going to post some of my dog disection pics...it may not look disgusting but seriously, it is if you're actually in front of that creature...Not only that, we had the privillage to see real human disected speciments too...It was even more eeewww....The thing is..those speciments were reseved more then 20 years so you can imagine how bad the smell could be....*puke*...it was bad and I mean really bad!!Oh well...here are the pics...have a nice day and I'll be back for more!!

happy bday lil bro!!

Have been really really busy this few days lor!! Assignments and assignments!! Intrasemester exam coming somemore!! Having a non-teaching week this week (this doesnt mean I'm on holiday..it's just holidays for the lecturers...those lazy buggers...forever oso holiday!!) Anyway..today is Brian's birthday..happy birthday to ya!! It's been a really tirying time ever since I came here...I guess the only holiday i would get would be when I go back to KL...which I can't wait!! I still haven book my flight yet...hoping that its not too late to do so maybe in October or something...I can't believe that time flies sooooo incredibly fast!! In a glimps of an eye...going to be a year that I'm here!!! WOW!!! Life is filled with up and downs..Unfortunately my life is packed with them!! Oh well..a life without challenges isn't a life I guess....Before i forget...I'm going to post up some pics tomolo...pics of my doggy disection!! Eeeeewwwww.....Now I wanna go to bed...getting really tired...old lioa I guess...hahaha...Good nite world!!!*HUGGIEZZZZ**MUAXXXXXXXX*

i noe who i am rite at tis moment....

Found myself today...
Oh I found myself and ran away...
Something pulled me back...
The voice of reason I forgot I had...
All I know is you're not here to say...
What you always used to say...
But it's written in the sky tonight...

So I won't give up...
No I won't break down...
Sooner than it seems life turns around...
And I will be strong...
Even if it all goes wrong...
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe...
Someone's watching over me...

Seen that ray of light...
And it's shining on my destiny...
Shining all the time...
And I wont be afraid...
To follow everywhere it's taking me...
All I know is yesterday is gone...
And right now I belong...
To this moment to my dreams...

So I won't give up...
No I won't break down...
Sooner than it seems life turns around...
And I will be strong...
Even if it all goes wrong...
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe...
Someone's watching over me...

It doesn't matter what people say...
And it doesn't matter how long it takes...
Believe in yourself and you'll find...
And it only matters how true you are...
Be true to yourself and follow your heart...

So I won't give up...
No I won't break down...
Sooner than it seems life turns around...
And I will be strong...
Even if it all goes wrong...
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe...
That I won't give up...
No I won't break down...
Sooner than it seems life turns around...
And I will be strong...
Even when it all goes wrong...
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe...
That someone's watching over...
Someone's watching over...
Someone's watching over me...

Someone's watching over me...

who m i??really.....do i even noe who i really am?

• Through out all this years,
• I have shut my mind to the world I once knew,
• And open my eyes to the world I now know,
• People of all ages, shapes and sizes,
• Big, small, young and old,
• Those from rich to poor,
• Successful to plain old lazy,
• Fit to disabled, lucky to unfortunate,
• All these are part of our world before and now,
• We are all human beings,
• We all have individual feelings,
• From love to hate, happy to sad,
• All these feelings, different from one another,
• Changes every minute, every second,
• I’ve seen the beautiful side of things,
• Even set eyes on the darker sides,
• Imagined the unthinkable,
• Dreamed of wonders of life,
• Thought of things that shouldn’t even be there,
• Befriended people I never thought I would,
• Hated people I never thought I will,
• Loved people I know I shouldn’t,
• Hurt people I didn’t mean deep inside,
• I’ve done everything a normal girl should do,
• I’ve made mistakes I knew I shouldn’t have made,
• I sit and wonder, is this what my life looks like?
• I look at myself in the mirror, and ask…
• Who is that girl staring right back at me?
• Why does she have a reflection that looks just like me?
• Does she have feelings at all? I wonder….
• All these unanswered questions floating inside my mind,
• When will it be answered, who will answer it?
• Will it someday be I or someone who I thought would be me?

dun force...im here for a reason...stop pushing!!

• There are thousands of religions and believes,
• Everybody has their own religion and believes,
• Everybody has the right to choose what they want and who to believe in,
• Those who are forcing are cowards and idiots,
• Those who force are those who fail!
• Those who force are those that don’t believe in God at all!
• If they do then they should leave it to God himself to decide who believe in who!
• We are humans and we have our rights,
• One may think that their God is the only ‘spiritual’ life beyond life,
• Others might think other wise,
• One shall not say comment or condemn other believes,
• One should stick to theirs and faithful they shall be,
• Don’t ever go around begging others to be what they are not,
• Begging leads to no where, so does forcing,
• 
  
• One who foresee the future is the one who concurs,
• One who predict is one that knows nothing at all,
• If one could foresee future, what had happen to world peace?
• Shouldn’t there be a place where peace is the theme among us all?
• Why must there be killing, killing of our own selves,
• When will there be a full-stop to nuclear wars and terrorism?
• Will there be a war between humans and nature?
• Will there be a war of the worlds?
• Will earth ever loose what God has created?
• 
  
• Today I realize that God created me for a purpose,
• Be that purpose to serve or to be served,
• I am here because I need to be here,
• Although it seems unfair that life isn’t treating me the way I want it to,
• There has to be a reason of me being in existence,
• I wonder what am I brought here for,
• All sorts of questions run through my mind about my life,
• All the unfairness that God have given to me and my family,
• Our lives are like mazes,
• There is a beginning and there always has to be an ending,
• My life is filled with never ending obstacles,
• One after another, I have to face,
• Afraid I am that one day I shall break down,
• Never will I stand again,
• To be strong and to fight the battle of life,
• A war that only I could win,
• With my strength and my abilities I shall not lose,
• For this battle is my life!
• God put me in this war and I shall lose not,
• To me, the only reason I am given this war,
• Is to show me the true meaning of life,
• No one faces life without a war like this,
• Some may have millions of obstacles,
• Some are lucky but some may not be,
• I may be unlucky to be chosen for this,
• But ready I am, and brave I will be,
• For I will never loose this battle,
• For I know that I will win with honor and pride,
• If punishment it is that I need,
• Then punishment is what I will get,
• I beg that this only happen because I deserve it,
• Don’t punish me because I’m too good,
• Don’t put me through things I deserve not,
• Shower me with your love if you would,
• Show me your guidance is what I ask,
• Encourage me is what I want,
• Success is what I crave,
• Failure is what I overcome,
• Mistakes I make, mistakes I correct,
• Love I have given, love that I am given,
• Achievement is what I see,
• Achievement is what I shall get!!