Sunday, March 19, 2006

end it or leave it...

drop it rave...its just not worth going back to square one. and to think that we were gonna have a good time chatting away and larfing away..all of a sudden u just have to pop tat question out again and again. u just have to make things sour. must u do tat? cant we chat like frenz? u alwayz give me the thought tat things just are not how it suppose to be; its all going the wrong direction. the tot of u actually wanting to buy someting so expensive for her is distracting...not tat im jles or anything. M does the same thing but then again...i am not wrong to tink about it u noe. u've really change apart from u having a job and earning some cash to make u and her happy..seeing u 2 argue is a good thing; a very pleasing thing indeed. when u told me that ure bonding is getting from bad to worse..was i suppose to be happy cuz i really dun wan u being wif her? i wasnt happy about it..cuz i really wan tis r/s to work out for both of u...i really really dun tink someone like her deserves u. i really think that u like challenges in ure r/s and so u end up wif her...come on..u can do better than that wei...but now u are wif her..tats the reality in tat and i have no right making comments about it; no doubt tat i was ure past. u say u should follow both ure heart n mind. mind u...dun tink ure doing wat ure saying.

u asked if i ever listened to the CD u gave me. the answer is yes and i repeated over and over again. i even kept the folded hearts after all this time; how stupid is tat? wat u wrote in each heart....i noe very well and i tink i have to make a few changes to tat. u tink ure the only one who remembers the past. i do to ok..and its haunting me over and over again. i still keep the diary when i wrote when i was wif u...i wanted to throw it away but then i tot of it...maybe i shd just keep it so tat in the future i could just take it out and larf at myself over wat i did for u and wat u did to me that hurts me deep down. the cut is even deeper then u could ever imagine. u oni blame me for hurting u. but did u ever sit and think about wat u did to me as well? ure unfair..u blame others for wat happen when its just ure fault it all started. u just dun understand do u? do i have to say it out louder so tat u could understand? i dun wanna hate u but ure making me do it...i really dun wan to have u as a bad memory in my mind. i wanna have a good image of u in me....but there u are..making things worse. cant u at least once make things better? there isnt gonna be peace in both of is there? the song 'straight from my heart'.....i bought their album and i luved tis song because i tot this was wat we were gonna have in the future but it turns out to be the other way round. rave.....u said we shared many songs together. yes we did but tis sharing didnt last...and it wont ever again.

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I see my future there in your eyes
Together and forever, it's you and me
You see cause I wont be listening to what my friends have got to say
I know you'll be there all the way

You promised
And I know
That you will always care
Through good times
Through bad times
You're always there

Hold me now don't ever let it go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
If you believe and you can only see
That making love to me would make your life complete
Hold me tight and say you'll leave me never
Straight from the heart you changed my life forever more

I dream of waking up in your arms
And watch the sun bring in the day
You see what I can't imagine I'm sure we can achieve
Which means giving up on this dream
You comfort
And you guide me
When skies are grey
And I feel you
And I need you
To say you'll stay

Hold me now don't ever let it go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
If you believe and you can only see
That making love to me would make your life complete
Hold me tight and say you'll leave me never
Straight from the heart you changed my life forever more

Forever more
Forever more
Changed my life

You promised
And I know
That you will always care
Through good times
Through bad times
You're always there

Hold me now don't ever let it go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
If you believe and you can only see
That making love to me would make your life complete
Hold me tight and say you'll leave me never
Straight from the heart you changed my life forever more

Straight from the heart you changed my life forever....
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remember the photo we took in school in front of the teacher's office? i thore it into pieces and threw it together wif some things...but the other day when i was unpacking some boxes..i came across this bear-box...inside it was things u gave me....and guess wat..i found another copy of that same picture..again i wanted to throw it and again i kept it cuz tat was one of the funniest day wif u in school. i noe u have tat photo too cuz i gave u a copy...whether onot its still in ure possession i dunno. memories of u and me are gonna stay wif me for quite some time cuz it was different from brendan or justin or my other ex. we see each other almost everyday of the week and tat was special..someting i never tot i could have. u may tink tat i am childish but im not rave...all i wan is a good memory wif u and i dun wan it to ever get corrupted. so im asking u to pls make tat happen...dun screw things up again pls. there are oni that much of rejections that i can take...i had enough and ure the oni one i couldnt make things straight wif. now u tell me y is tat happening...u noe i luved brendan so much tat i tink about him while i was wif u. sorry about tat but he was really un-real. he is everything i wanted....as for u, you're different and i dun wanna mention tis here cuz its not tat appropriate..ure not the oni one reading tis. i wont want my bro or whoever to noe wat tat reason is and screw me up later....

so i hope u really understand wat im trying to say here rave...its very hard for me u noe. u dun wan me to hurt anyone anymore so i hope i wont hurt M. i oso hope i wont hurt u too....u noe wat i mean.

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all alone on a sunday morning
outside i see the rain is falling
inside im slowly dying
but the rain will hide my crying,
and you dont know my tears will burn the pillow
set this place on fire
cause im tired of your lie
all i needed was a simple hello
but the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry...

i gave you my love in vain
my body never knew such pleasure
my heart never knew such pain
and you leave me so confused
now im all cried out over you
crying over you...

never wanted to see things your way
had to go astray
for why was i such a fool
now that i see the grass is much greener
is it too late for me to find my way home?
how could i be so wrong?

leaving me all alone
dont you know my tears will cause an inferno
romance of these flames
why should i take the blame?
you were the one who left me neglected
you said sorry but apology not accepted
at me the boken hearts you've collected
i gave you all of me
how was i to know
you would weaken so easily
i dont know what to do
now im all cried out over you...
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