may u rest in peace...

today is a very sad and emotional day for me...
i got the news tat my beloved grandpa has left the mortal world...
left me without saying goodbye....
it is very hard for me when i got the news from my mum...
my grandma left me 2 years ago...
now my grandpa...
like my grandma..my grandpa is the second closests ppl in the world after my parents...
i grew up wif them..i stayed wif them for the longest amongst all other grandchildren...
i am the favourite of the lot...
i get all the best things...
now both of them left me...and both without saying their last goodbyez...
at least for my grandma..i get to attend her funeral...
but wat about now?
i dun get to attend my grandpa's funeral...
i cant accept the fact tat he is gone and now im not allowed to return home...
it is not unfair...
i just feel my presence there is needed and is a must tat i be there...
at least let me see him for the last time...
maybe they do not understand how i feel...
i just feel hurt and upset...
i think he will be disapointed to noe that i am unable to attend his funeral...
unable to see him leave...
on the other hand..i noe he will understand the reason y im not there...
he luves me and so he shall forgive me...
grandpa...i promise to go to ure grave when i get back end of this year...
i will bring all that i have not to u and hope u forgive me for the late comings...
now i noe ure soul and grandma's will re-unite...
now u wont be lonely no more...now tat u got grandma by ure side...
i hope you and grandma will have the most wonderful afterlife ever...
the times tat grandma parted u was hard and i noe u struggle to be strong...
ive been there for u in times of needs so i hope i did my part as a grand daughter..
i thank you for all the luv u have given me from the day i arrived on earth...
i thank you for being there for me in times of needs...
making me larf and treating me wif all the goodness a grandchild could ever dream of...
i dun have anything wif me tat belongs to u but ure luv and ure warmth...

i promise to be strong and be the best of me...
im sorry you cant see me graduating...
im sorry for not being able to treat you once...
im sorry if i made u feel uncomfortable...
im sorry if i didnt wrap your bandage nicely...
im sorry for not being there at ure last moments...
im sorry for everything that i have done...

i promise i wont forget wat u tell me...
i wont forget the times we spent together...
and i hope u take wif u our memories for the past 19 years ...

=========================================

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be....

=====================================

i just spoke to him on friday and now i wont get the chance to hear him speak anymore...
i hope to hear ure whispers from time to time...
i hope you would watch me from up above...
i hope to see you in my dreamz...

may your soul rest in peace....
on this day dated 17th of April 2006..
the time he parted 12.55pm....
your memories lies deep within our souls...

***in memories of my beloved grandpa***