wah...genetically modified?? of cuz not...

morning~~its the last week of the semester..finalz next week lor...
will be quite bz..so wont blog for a while...
i joined the gym yesterday..kakaka....
looking forward to it very much...
guess wat my goal is..hahaha...*shh*
later going to uni...disect bovine limb...*blek*
wanna show u all someting....its frm my aunt's famous garden!!

*****itz a winter melon!!****


*****n NO its not genetically modified!!no chemical was used during the growing process****

here's some info on it...
name: winter melon
weight: 17 kg!!!
ideal for: winter hot soup!! *yumm* :P~~~~
product of: aunt's own garden!!
price: PRICELESS!

used to have quite a few produce bt tis year..just tis gigantic one and a smaller one...
yummmm..........mouth watering winter melon soup.......
actually last week there is a mango which is oso very big..bt didnt manage to grab its pic...:(
it was about 1.3kg...mind u..its a mango...its huge!!
my aunt kept it too long..and forget to it it...so it went over-ripe..so not so nice..if i were to cut it a few weeks earlier..it would taste like paradise!!
now still gt 2 more big ones..after this bo lioa loo...
must wait till next year....
see the pic below oh...u see those trees tat has those paper wrapped all over it?
tats one of de 3 mango trees in the garden...if u look further up the pic..thats the big mango tree...dunno y i didnt get the pic of tat...><

******mango tree.....now all botak liao...*******


****smallest mango tis year..haha***

k la....my hands so cold cnt type ler...wanna go get my lab coat and blades..muahaha...
cya soon....mizz ya all!! muaxxx

*yawn* *yawn* *yawn*

im extra sleepy today..dunno y ler..
this morning wake up...a bit cloudy outside..dunno to wash clothes onot..
went down..ate cake and drank water..NO milk :'(
aunty so early oredi start making bachang!! *yummy*
from my room i can smell the bachang leaf smell...so fragant~
i tink i heard her frying the rice at 7am....i guess i am awaken by the ventilation...
i slept back...awaken at 8am..then sleep back again....
then at about 9am wake up for good..didnt bother folding my blankie cuz i so wanted to sleep again...haha...wat a big baby!!
after eating the cake..decided to wash my clothes..
dun ask me y i din wash yesterday when its sunny...i cut my finger!! while cutting a lime...:'(
so today my lil finger much better so wash lor...weatherman said showers during the evening mah...sunny during the day..so wash laa...
took an hour to wash...when i hang my clothes, it was a lil cloudy but very windy...
later the sun came up a while...so i decided to polish my nails!!
since i din do it for a week jor...
guess wat happen!!! rain!! (jus drizel act..) damm!!! when i dun wash my clothes u dun rain...when i wash u rain!! and at the worste time eva!! when my nails are just done and not dry yet!! *pissed off*
nvm...redo lor...*calmed*...
i ate 2 bachang for lunch....full at first..bt about 5 so hungry :X
studied the whole day..din watch tv!! hehhee...sunday is the worse day eva...nth on tv bt footie...hate it...(sorry footie fanz...kakakaka)
so headache at nite..cuz i couldnt figure out how to do an excel question regarding VLOOKUP function...*sigh*...
now im sleepy again...going to bed loo...have a nice day...

p.s: happy blated bday kimzter n nazzie boi!! (wished them earlier bt just to post here :P)
luv ya both!! cheer up nazzie boi!! muaxxx

we were the special two...

whenever ure alone, and when u need someone by ure side..
think about me and i'll be rite next to u...
whisper into my ear tat u need me in ure arms...
call out my name when u need me most...
i cant promise to go to u right away..
but i'll get there somehow...
luv me for a reason and let the reason be love..
for all i want is for u to be happy...
whenever ure down..pick up the phone and call for me..
i'll promise to listen and share ure tears...
dun leave me out of ure life...
open up and let me in..for all i wan is u...

=======================================

I remember someone old once said to me:
"Lies will lock you up with truth the only key."
But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell,
And couldn't see this place would soon become my hell.
So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?
Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place.
I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now,
But if by chance you change your mind you know I will not
Let you down 'cause we were the special two, and will be again.

And we will only need each other, we'll breathe together,
Our hands will not be taught to need another's,
When we're the special two.
And we could only see each other we'll bleed together,
These arms will not be taught to need another...

I step outside my mind's eye's for a minute.
And I look over me like a doctor looking for disease,
Or something that could ease the pain.
But nothing cures the hurt you, you bring on by yourself,
Just remembering, just remembering how we were...

my face is tomato red..

i had the weirdest conversation wif the 'u noe who' today!!
oh my God...am i for real?? i am actually toking about one of the most confidential thing in my life!! oh my...i still couldnt imagine it...its pretty embarrasing la...
my face went bright red when we were toking bout it...
i guess u dun need me to tell u wat the topic was on about gua...(figure out ureself)
we were toking about omost every aspect of it!!
i mean....im actually very open to tis topic wif other ppl..
but toking to someone tat was once part of my life is really odd to me...
surfed tru a few interesting websites on tis...wow...it was kinda fun doing it...
reading all those articles...turns me on babe!! hahaha...
then we tok about our personal lives...i didnt expect to tell out my personal and most confidential elements lor..but i did!!
so pai seh la...really am...
i even gave out my weakness in it....gosh...
i tink i was crazy...but i dun regret it la..
its good mah...xchange info..hahaha....
now hor...i cant stop toking about it liao...
how?? hahahhaa....im so interested to noe more about 'it'...
i wan free info and personal experiences...free to tell me..hahaha....anyone??

can barely open my eyez tis morning...

guess wat time i slept last nite..4am...
i couldnt sleep...my mind was so sleepy bt my body doesnt wanna sleep...
so ok..i off9 early...told ppl i wanna clear my drawer bt i didnt do tat...
i didnt wanna be alone...
i wanted to chat wif someone..
bt who will on9 wif me till 4?
so pretended i wanted to go lor...
sat in frnt of my cupboard mirror...stare at myself...
inside i was asking myself wat i did tat made me deserve all this...
yesterday...i finally got the answer that i was looking for maybe a few years ago...
the day finally came..i didnt see it coming...
my question was answered...kinda satisfied but i feel odd...
couldnt stop tinking about wat i heard (typed for tis case)....
wat does it mean to me? well..it means a lot to me and that person means alot to me tooo..
wat happened a few years back..tat was someting new..someting i never tot i will do...
i never regret wat i did...i was glad for sometimes apart from all the darkness i got from it...
wat my ex said last nite really shocked me i tink..
i was speechless..i couldnt react to wat i saw...
i just stared at the comp...i was really happy actually...
then again...how can i be happy? im so lost here...
wat would u do if u were in my shoes? u have someone who luvs u so deep tat without u life is meaningless..and the other one is ure past....when past and present come together...it clashes!
i dun wan a clash...i wan someting tat i can have....tat i can relate my life to...
my present treats me so good i feel the guilt in me..but having kept my past in me for tis long adds up to more guilt and now i have no idea where i stand...
now i wanna noe one more thing..if i were still wif my ex and we are seperated like we are now...im here and the other is going somewhere else..will the r/s carry on?
or will we be seperated like wat u are gonna do to ure current gf?
u noe ah..i told one of my close web fren and she accused me of being a third party...
it really got me upset...i am not a biatch...i dun ruin ppl's r/s....i just screw my own...
she said i made them seperate...and not oni tat when i told her tat my ex tink the feeling of luv is gone for the gf...she said im the one who caused it...
far out!! i have noting to do wif this...i gave them my best wishes and now im the biatch??
i cant stop my tears from flowing lor...i have never been told off like tat b4..not for someting i didnt do!! i dun wish for them to seperate but they are so wat has it gotta do wif me?
i dun wish to go on toking about tis but i need to get it off my chest...
i said i made my mistakes and i paid it off..and she tot i use money and pay!! wat the hell...its a phrase and u tink i use money to buy a r/s!
if u dun understand wat im saying..dun simply accuse me...dis is the first and final time im gonna tok to u like tis...im sorry to have even told u anything..i tot u were gonna stand up for me bt instead u betrayed our frenship..enuf crap for one day!! u screwed my happy moments!!
someting i once have is no longer mine...i cant buy it off e-bay thankiu very much....
i cant auction for it either...its someting money cant buy....
i oni wished we could start a whole...
then we didnt have to end up like this..
where's faith when u need it most?

ignore the last entry...i totally disagree now!!

in the last entry i said things were pretty good except for a few bumpz here and there...
but now..after wat happened yesterday..i dun agree anymore...its back to square one...
commitment...define commitment..wat the heck is it? because of tis things are gonna go bad no matter u just started a r/s, just got off one, or has been in one for a long time....or even if u haven board one yet..planning too maybe?
it seems tat because of this my last r/s was on rocky hillz...
if u wanna noe how i feel...just ask me...
dun make a big circle asking diff diff things then end up wif one simple question...
kay..maybe i started the circle but it was kinda obvious u wanted to get in one too...
u wanted the truth and u got it...i confessed and it wasnt a beautiful scene...
if i could turn back time...will i make the same decision again?
sadly the topic changed and i didnt get to answer it....
sigh for relief?? nope...it got me into my thinking hat again....
i sat in the corner wondering wat will happen if i did go back in time and changed my decision?
maybe we were gonna break a lil more...then get back together a bit more...
maybe if miss P and mr M wasnt in the scene..i would not have made tat decision..
but they were there...and miss P was the biggest threat...
is M a threat to u? guess not..cuz u had P there by u that whole entire nite...
u dun even needed me at all..
where were u when i cried..where were u when im down and needed u most?
on the phone with who?? frm here on..i noe ure gonna shoot me back wif ure words...
bout wat i did when u were upset and so on...
does tis mean we're even? not at all....i did my share in making mistakes and so did u...
tis is a 2 person game..not just u alone...
i exist too u noe..im not just an image on a photograph...
i didnt expect u to be flattered when u got my answer to ure question...
i didnt even expect myself telling u wat did happen...
so i cheated? as if u didnt? or did u do it just to make me feel even more guilty?
u said u were loosing me? in wat sense? did i tell u my heart was no longer there?
u can see tat wif ure own eyes...yea rite..wan an applause for tat onot?
at least i admit my mistakes but do u? i said i was sorry but u tink tat its just a word and it didnt make much difference anyway..rite?
it takes to to play this game...not 4 not 3...just 2 single beings...u and me...
u are really sellfish and u noe tat...u said u wanted me all to ureself..bt was i being shared by anyone else??
so wats the point turning back the time? if oni u could see the future during tat stage..
if u did and knew wat was gonna happen..maybe u could change a lil...
then maybe things will be diff today...but if i noe tat u were gonna call it quits when we go our seperate ways...i rather not go on...
knowing ure just waiting for tat day to come...and when it does come...u leave me?
tats not gonna work for me..it may work for ure gf now but now for me...
who u tink i am...when ure around u wan me..when ure not u leave me aside??
i wonder how she could accept such a thing...have she no feelings at all?
to be continued...........

ok...back frm dinner..had to leave my blog half way tru...
just now while i was away..i thought of someting....
someting i shdnt even tink about...dun wanna say it here la...later cause trouble...
back to where i left it....turning back the clock....
i want to go back in time to undo the tings i did wrong to u .... but will things change after that?
u owayz blame ppl (me for this case...)...u tink im a two timer...hmm..interesting....
if u noe me well enuf we wouldnt even end up here...
frm the start u oredi had the idea tat i like to flirt around wif others...
flirting isnt wrong or illegal in anyway...i guess i wanted attention cuz u werent giving me enuf!!
it may be unfair to u but it is oso unfair to me u noe...
being wif u is like im locked up and i cant do things i wan to...
some might even say wat u did was rite cuz luv is meant to be sellfish...maybe im a lil glad that u are possesive...cuz at least i noe u wont let others take me away...
but u did let me go...why? i wanna noe y...seriously...
was it because of a third and fourth party??
a part of me noe tat it isnt about them...its about u....
however....tats all the past..as for now..i wanna noe wats in ure mind...
i really wish one day u would tell me the truth....
i will wait for tat day...

u dun realise it...

sometimes we chat happily sometimes we dun...
last time each time we chat we end up wif a fight or an argument....
i find just recently..its becoming better..no fights no disagreements..
its a relief cuz i tink u and i dun wan to fight...no point in tat too...
but then again..eventhou there arent any fights and all tat...
there are other things that u do and dun realise it...
u say u have a prob...i ask and u answered in a very hurting manner..
u might not realise it cuz u give the answer not listen to it..
to u it may seem like a normal answer but to others its just not...
the way u said is hurting....and u might tink im sensitive..
i am sensitive and u noe tat...so y dun u watch wat u answer me?
how would u react if im having a prob and u ask me wazzup and i say none of ure biz?
its similar to wat u said to me lor...i just wanna care more bout u as i tink i haven done tat much since forever!!
let me be there for u as long as i can...it may seem unfair to certain party but i care less bout them...who cares wat they might tink?
im glad i am able to put smiles on ure face...making u smile makes my heart sigh wif relief...
seeing u smile makes me smile in return...
seeing u worried makes my heart worry for u...
u dun owayz sound ure problems bt i can feel ure pain..
let me share ure pain...let us go tru it together...
didn u promise we'd go tru thick and thin together?
i really wanna be there with u till the end and forget about wat happen before...
ignore those who betray us..ignore those who are againsts us....
being wif u would satisfy all my needs....muaxx

it'z hard to say goodbye...

a song worth listening to...

It's Hard To Say Goodbye
Celine Dion

(Paul Anka/Mark Spiro/Jack White)

There's something in your eyes that's far too revealing
Why must it be like this a love without feelin'
Something is wrong with you I know
I see it in your eyes
Believe me when I say
It's gonna be okay

I told you from the start I won't be demanding
I won't be demanding
If you have a change of heart I'll be understanding
I'll be understanding
When love becomes a broken heart and dreams begin to die
Believe me when I say
We'll work it out some way

I'll never try to hold you back
I wouldn't try controlling you
If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you
And if there's something else that you're looking for
I'll be the first to help you try
Believe me when I say
It's hard to say goodbye

We've lost that loving touch we used to feel so much
I try to hide the truth that's in my eyes
The love without feeling
But when I feel we're not in love, I know I'm losing you
Believe when I say
We'll work it out some way

I'll never try to hold you back
I wouldn't try controlling you
If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you
And if there's something else that you're looking for
I'll be the first to help you try
Believe me when I say
It's hard to say goodbye

its not farny ppl...

oh my God...till now im still a lil freaked out eventhou it didnt happen to me...
chated wif my ex..and asked me someting..and thank GOd it wasnt about the show we were chating about the other day...(i cant tell u guyz the name..sorry)
asked me..if someone were to msg me and tell me that my best fren passed away and i tried reaching her and her family but i cant get them..will i be sked??
OBVIOUSLY YEZ!!! do u tink tat someone would do tat just to prank u?? its death we're toking about here ppl...its not farny at all!! especially when it involves ure closest frenz and family!! if i were to receive such msg..the first thing i'd do is call her the moment i get the msg..if i cant get her i'd call her parents...speaking of tat...i dunno anyone there tat i could call to check on her leh...her brother is there...hmm....i dun even noe her bro (oopz..)...but i will totally freak out....tats for sure..even now..im feeling the chills man...and its not cuz its cold here...its cold inside...thinking tat it might happen to someone i noe..its terrifying!! i just experienced it and it wasnt a prank...i got the news tat my grandpa passed away tru a sms...*sigh*...somemore just now during my afternoon nap i had the weirdest and scariest dream about his death...i woke up a lil sked...but it wont happen..its all over now. back to the topic....i really dunno wat else i could do if i were to know that one of my fren have passed away...bottom line is...if someting does happen and u got the news before i do..plz call me and DO NOT sms me...tats the worse technology ever to spread news...and PLEASE DO NOT DO PRANKS ON TAT!!

do i have so much tings tat i need an extra drawer?

aihz....i got a new 3-level-drawer ah!! my uncle made it for me...aihz...when i saw him making it a few days ago..i wished it wasnt mine lor. i dun mean to be perasan but i dun tink he needs tat drawer for himself. so i guessed it was for me. then yesterday i asked him la...who are u making the drawer for...he say for me!! aihz....do i need one? he made so many things for me jor..first a shelf on top of my table..then a computer side table (i tink tats wat it was)...then when i was back in KL he modified my wardrobe..made extra racks at the bottom so tat i could put my shoe collection i tink...and then made a safe somewhere in my room (of cuz i cant tell u where it is!!)...and now...i got another drawer (mini wardrobe for my inner clothes maybe?)..aihz aihz aihz...do i have so much things that he tinks i dun have plc to put them? i still got place in my wardrobe wor...y go tru all the trouble to make me tat drawer..aihz aihz...i really dunno wat to say la..i feel so guilty...im pretty sure those who stayed here b4 me dun get all that..cuz they are GUYZ!! they dun need all that much space!! aihz aihz....the other day i showed my fren my wardrobe tru the webcam...she scolded me without even giving me some face :( ...she say i got so much clothes dunno for wat!! and the shoes...*pengsan*...if she sees my cupboard at home i tink i kena shoot by her dunno how many times...my mum oso cnt tahan me...i have got so many pair of heels at home waiting for me to wear...i didnt bring many over cuz its not needed mah...i oso dun go out as frequent as back home..no need wear nice nice oso la...let who see jek...aihz aihz......somemore the other day..my fren frm uni...she even asked me if i wanted second hand clothes. *eeerrrrrr.....*second hand clothes ah....dunno la...i just dun tink wat someone has worn b4 i will take lor...its just not me unless im really desperate....which im not...i have clothes which i have to get rid of myself..bringing back and passing it to my aunt..see she wants it onot..if she dun wan then she will give to her frenz...i oso dunno how many pile of clothes i have given away...old one dun go new one wont come .. in my case it doesnt work tat way...new one comes no matter wat!! aihz..aihz..i feel so bad rite now...feel like im a spoilt brat which im not...i dun get everything in the world u noe....i dun get the best either...but i feel lucky tat my parents arent ppl who are so damm sellfish over materials...i still get certain things...but others i have to earn for it lor...noting comes for free..not even in ure family...its true!! but hor..i keep tinking...all the money i have oso is their money mah...they gave it to me..i haven worked in my whole entire life yet so how can it possibly be that i have money? unless its frm ang pau but tats just 1/5 of wat i have...aihz aihz...so guilty!! can someone help me onot jek??

blow fish...is tat how u spell it?

ahahahaha.....damm farny damm farny...
was eating my curry pasta then watch tv lor..
dunno wats the title of the show..but its about tis group of chefz one la...
this chineze chef..he tried to teach his assistant how to handle a blow-fish (there..those fish when sked or someting will blow up into like a balloon gah....and got lorn torns or someting on its body gah...)
then his assistant wanted to take the knife and just chop the fish up..but the chef scolded him la...say ure not suppose to cut it...u should be gentle on it...just place the knife and slide it into the fish...hahaha..
the assistant oso abit sked sked..so just take the knife and when he almost touched the knife on the fish..the fish blotted up!! ahahahahaa....the expression was damm damm farny...he fainted..hahahaha.....the fish was damm fresh (or shd i say half dead!!)....
then after dunno how long he woke up..then he saw double vision...saw the chef's image floating around like a ghost then he asked the chef wat happen...
so the chef told him tat he got poisoned by the fish...and he sucked the poison out of his finger..
so to say..the chef 'saved' his life...he jumped on the chef and hugged him dramatically...
damm damm farny....too much larfter for me today....watched BigBrother06 just now and the Friday Nite Live game was damm farny!! i cant explain it...u have to see it to larf!! too bad not all of u noe wat it is really...muahahaha...watching Kate & Leopold now...how sweet!! k la...continue soon..dunno wat im writing jor..will go out of topic soon...lol...have a pleasent day ya all...luv...muaxx

i hate it but i dunno y im doing it to u...

someone in the channel is trying to woo me..
this person noes tat im not available but is still doing it...
i dun wanna break anyone's heart in the end cuz its not someting i like...
we make good frenz...tis fella owayz tease me and make me larf...
this person is an op in the channel and it wasnt a good idea to make this person angry..
this fella...i dunno who at first but i keep getting voiced in the channel (+v)....
then a couple weeks back i get pvt msges frm tis dude and it didnt sound rite...
yesterday i screwed things real badly...i had my jap exam and i had my monthly visits and i was as hot tempered as ever!
wat made me really mad was when i asked for the fella's real name..i didnt get it...
kept asking y is it so important that i have to noe his name...
come on dude...u wan to gain my trust and u are not telling me ure true name?
how insane is tat? how do u expect me to trust u in return if i noe noting solid of u?
i noe u had bad relationships in the past...many broke ure heart and wat now?
ure looking for me cuz i look like ure past????
is tat an insult or wat? im not a lil glad at all that i look like ure ex...u keep saying tat when u see my pic in msn...wat the heck are u trying to do here?
so wat if i look like ure ex huh? u cant do anything to change that...
did u suddenly tok to me cuz i look like ure ex or do u wanna really be frenz wif me?
so there i go..i made a big fuss on the name thing and sorta scolded the freak out of him and he keeps saying tat im not right tat day...
whether im right onot its none of ure biznes dude...
i technically said tat i am childish but i didnt expect to be treated like a baby rite?
i noe ure very mature 20 over and wat not..
so wat? u may be smart...going for award ceremonies and wat not..so wat?!?!
and then he keeps saying tat without the 5C's he wont be able to get me...
another big insult...this time im so mad i mad him feel that i hated him and didnt wanna tok to him anymore...i even said tat i would block him in msn..of cuz i didnt do tat...i oni blocked one guy b4..cuz he is the most irritating freak i have ever known...
since then i keep getting long smses about him saying sorry and all...
i didnt even bother replying..y waste money on someone who thinks im a 5C person...*freak*
i hate it kay...its so insulting..who on earth gives a damm about 5C?? i certainly dun!!
since u tink ure Mr.Perfecto and all...go get someone else..im not wat u tink i am..so get lost...get off my face!!

i did it again......*slap*

i did it again la...how?!? i cant control myself...i spent almost 300 buckz on clothes again!! 50 each for 6!?!!!!!!! i need therapy...retail therapy!! i need yelling...i need scolding!! i need to be grounded!! help me!! im so addicted to shopping....the shop owner was like..wow u got ureself a whole bargain young lady...i was like er..yea!! hahaha....there was sales going on cuz mother's day tomolo mah..but still the clothes are expensive and when i convert lagi teruk....but i still buy...its not winter clothings oni...all long sleeve la no doubt...so its ok rite?? ehehhe...help!! mum..i need u here to control me and pay for my shopping!! *aikz*...somemore back home...i told my mum if see someting tat i would like buy for me...she oredi bought some stuff...for example b4 i came back i saw this handbag...been there for a few mths jor...about erm..80 buckz...too ex for me...so waited for sales...gone down to 50 but i still think too ex...so didnt buy..came back to aus keep thinking about it...so asked my mum go get it for me...hahaha...im so evil!! she noes i luv shopping...so she bought for me..she say its cheap *yea rite*..so ex la...a handbag..for 50???!?! i wont pay if its my own money...:P im broke im broke!! sayonara~

dun so crap la...i will be sad oso la...

*gosh*...stupid fella...
last nite my fren..she really teruk la...chat chat chat then halfway she said forgot to tell me something very important..
ask me dun cry after i hear wat she has to say...
i was like wat the heck....wat happen? sounded so serious...can make me cry somemore...*pengsan*...so i ask her wat is it about first..anything to do wif me onot..she say yea...
then i say la...someone did someting to hurt me or said someting about me ah?
she say no...at tat time i oredi on fire...
then she told me its cuz of my ex...im like wat the...someting about my ex tat could make me cry??? i really on the peak of exploding jor...
i mean what is there that she noe about my r/s tat i didnt noe about...rite onot?
before she told me wat happen she asked if i still concern about my ex..come on..wat stupid q is tat?!?! of cuz i do...my ex is my ex...oso my fren wor...of cuz im concern....
so i say la...is my ex getting married or someting..she was like hesitating to tell me lor..
wahliao..tat time i oredi exploded!! how can it be tat my ex wanna get married n i noe nth about it leh?? if it was true i will be pissed off...very very pissed...
my stupid fren...trying to be a spy ah? spy and see if i still care for my ex?? SIAO!!
then she say no...not getting married but leaving for elsewhere...
im like chiu!! tat i noe la...i tink i knew tat long b4 she knew la...*pengsan*

leaving: one of the sadest word in my dictionary...departures are the worst thing to handle...i certainly dun handle it well enough...i'll sob my eyes out!!

i sent many of my frenz off .... but for this one...i cant make it.....
you guys are gonna have a farewell party i guess (should have one of cuz *^^*)...but im not there *sobz*....
to tink tat i wont be seeing u for a very very long time..maybe not a year....a few years somemore...*sobz*....but anyway....m not invited to it!! *hmphz* hahaha....

will u invite someone to a party knowing tat the person did not invite u to hers last time??
i wont...of cuz i wont...u noe i very small gas sometimes la...hehehe...
but anyway...i guess u all noe the reason y it didnt happen..
so...i guess its gonna be sayonara soon..but will see u on9 one kua....
hope ure not to bz to say hi to me if ure on9 lor...i'll be so so so sad if my frenz left for studies and dun care bout me jor once they leave...lucky enuf it hasnt happen b4...*phew*...thanx peepz..luv ya owayz!!

well...tis person hasnt flew off yet...im guessing this fella is camping at gf's plc as parents not around *woohoo*.....hahaha...treasure ure time wif her la...tats all i wanna say to u....have a great time!!

luv owayz....muaxxx

addicted to shopping

aiya...i cant stop shopping...
just less then a mth ago i spent loads on clothes...
then today i did it again...
i seriously dun need anymore clothes then wat i have now...
i have more then i can wear...
i bought a few singlets...a pyjama set (which looks noting like one)....and 2 tops...
IM ADDICTED TO SHOPPING..
i noe i shouldnt but i cant help it when it comes to shopping..
i signed so much tis mth...not to mention every mth...
came back....uncle saw me bringing in an extra bag..asked me wat i bought AGAIN this time..
i told him clothes and giggled a lil...
he said AGAIN??? u have so much clothes...(ure guessing how he noes huh?)
he even said i buy so many but wont be abble to wear finish..it was true....*giggle*
actually..today i was oni suppose to 'accompany' my fren cuz she wanted to buy clothes..ended up buying along..hahaha....
i wanted to buy long sleeves but couldnt find any nice ones..so nvm lor..buy other stuff...*wink*
im truely crazy....and addicted...
but hey...im considered ok liao lor..i see someting i like but price not rite i wont buy wor..i wait till i go back oni buy...*winkz*
but i wanna buy a knee length jacket...i luv those kind bt its just so expensive...
i wont spend more then 100 on any clothings so..there..i have a good habit...*giggle*

i nominate tis for gold loggggieee!!!

ahahahahahaahahahahahahaha....
i was watching big brother's first live eviction...then switched to the loggie'z arrivalz...then switched back to bb06...then after it finished..i switched back to the loggiez....it was the tv specials bla bla bla...then it was darrell summer's turn as a co-host...in btw his speech...he said someting about myth busting..then they cross over to the dynamic duo, the myth busterz...they were about to bust a myth which stated tat breast tissues tend to expand durin loggiez nite...so one of them wore a bra and slept in some machine tat was filled wif the so called loggie pressurized gas (i tink..dunno the exact name)...it did expand!! but the breast of his didnt fill the whole bra *obviously*...so they tried wif someting else insteed...they put those breast implant silicons into the pressure tubes and it eventually exploded...i larfed my arse out man!!! i couldnt stop...till now im still larfing as i type...and as u noe i have a bad bad ulser...tat made things worse!! but it was a good larf...after i say tat i quickly sprung up and type tis..hahahahahahahahahaha...im off now...wanna finish the show...toooodaaaaalooooooo~~~muax

remember hw i say i cant go shopping...*oopz*

rite...i noe i shouldnt be going shopping but erm...i guess i have an excuse for wat i did today...i went shopping!! wait wait..i have my explanations...i shopped for mother's day gift..hahahaahaha....accepted onot my brilliant excuse...in a way..i am buying someting for my mum..but seriously..im buying it cuz i luv it!! i spent erm AUD$1oo plus and i oni bought 2 items...both are things tat i tink i will like more then my mum will..hahaha...i bought a knife set...ive got my eyes on it since..i cant remember when!!its not cheap but i just bought it...as a gift for my mum...and the next one was a baking set...those baking trays and all...erm...i haven used those kind b4 cuz its sorta new..silicon type *winkz*...i have this crazy passion for cooking and baking...so i buy these things oso ok mah rite?? oni tat i will get chopped up by mum...

see hor...my house kitchen is filled wif cooking and bakeware!! too many till there isnt any plc to store them...*i wont be surprise to find a box of trays in the guest room downstair*....tat is my mum's side of the story for buying so many things..and in the end get scolding frm me cuz she was out of control!! and now look who is out of control...hey..its in the genez..hahaha...

oh well...i just luv the kitchen and everyting in it...i luv staying in the kitchen cooking or baking up a storm...i wanted to be a chef somemore last time..*winkz*...its just too sad tat i dun get to do any cooking or baking here...*sighz*...i miss it...so very muchiiii!!!nvm..i go back and book the kitchen first...cuz its gonna be my teritory for that 2 months plus....hehehe...

as for the knife set i bought..i was so in luv wif it tat i took each and everyone out and played around wif it...*hahaha*.....im in luv..cant u tell??

01.02.03.04.05.06....guess wat tis is...

no its not a code *winkz*...
its actually a special event...that happens oni every 100 yearz!! not 1 not 10 but 100!!
01.02.03.04.05.06 stands for 01 hour 02 minutes 03 seconds on the 04 of 05 year 06...get it onot?!?!?!
if u were to calculate...it wont happen in the year 1986,1996, 2016...
the next one will be the year 2106...
i didnt noe there was such thing until my mum told me last nite...*interesting*
according to astrology...it means good luck and most biznez agreements are signed on this day, and other important things la...it brings good luck wor...
and i tot it was planets alligning...hahaha...*doomz day*
its really interesting and im kinda dissapointed that i dun hear anyone saying about it here..
how sad is tat....didnt hear anything on news...i dun read newspapers so i dunno if its there...
it was published in the Star and other newspapers in Msia kua..my mum showed me...front page somemore....
sad case la aussie...*winkz*

01.02.03.04.05.06!! congratulations!!

O.M.G...my f*rking bill....

to tell u the truth..im so broke..
i can no longer go shopping..
cnt buy new clothes..
cnt buy ne stuff....
i paid off my car insurance...which is a total of AUD$2200 which is roughly RM6600...
wat kind of insurance is tat?
even the largest BMW's insurance oso not tat ex leh...
wat am i driving? a ferrari ah?? *INSANE*

if tats not enuf..i got my hp bill today...its a stunning AUD$75!! (RM220?!?!?!?!)
wat the heck!! i didnt noe i made so many calls and smses leh...
Sil....im not gonna msg u anymore la!! im so broke jor...because of u la my sms bill damm high tis month...how am i suppose to pay tat u tell me..
its more then double my monthly figure leh...*INSANE*

somemore...the list keeps coming and coming!!
petrol prices!! AUD$1.40/L...wat the heck!! tats like almost RM4/L!!!
tats just great!! each time i pump its gonna cost me about AUD$45 (RM130?!?!?!?!)
im like going down the drain man!! *INSANE*
how can i survive if things are gonna be like tat ah?
come on...let me strike lotto and my mouth shall remain close for a while!!
*as if i even buy lotto...no money to buy*
hate it hate it hate it...im gonna start nagging at ppl for noting...damm damm damm!!
this world is all about money now...MONEY!!MONEY!!I NEED MONEY!!
im so f*rking pissed off rite now....@*#&@&amp;$^#@^$#%$&@^@#*($#&$#^&!!!

my confession..i give up

here is my confession...
may I be your possession...
boy I need your touch...
your love, kisses and such...
with all my might I try...
but this I can't deny...

when will u confess to me?till when are u gonna hide?if im not in ure dreams...then ure definately lying. if she is who u say u luv..ure bullshiting..she is just a replacement and u noe tat. but y must u lie to me?

if u tink there is someting im hiding....indeed i do..u caught me red handed...
but i wont confess until u do...
and if ure gonna keep it and not say it...
then i'll do the same..
its oni fair tat way rite?
if u wanna be like tat forever...let it be then...
im not gonna force u or anything...u noe it and i may noe it....
end of story...

let me whisper into ure ear....wat u wanna noe is...im not satisfied....
there u go...u shd noe wat goes on after tat...

my dad, your dad, our dad...everyone's dad...wat diff does it make anyway?

haven been typing my blog for the past couple of weeks..
by now you should noe its cuz i am bz wif exams..
finished mid terms and finalz are coming oredi...
time flies so fast and before you noe it..first semester is over and 2nd semester is just around the corner....*wow*..and to think tat time passes so slow here...

it was my darling su ee's bday last 26th. didnt type it here..so HAPPEI BELATED BURFDAY DAR...she is the cutest and funniest gal in college..she never fails to larf..never fails to brighten someone's day and its amazing how her life is so perfect despite her parents who are going tru seperation...
she may be a happy-go-lucky person but when it comes to family...she has to be somehow upset that its gonna end this way...i dunno..tats just me...
luv ya dar~~

rite..just scrolled tru elaine's blog...and guess wat..i haven seen her tis mad in my whole entire r/s wif her.....
it was shocking..at first i tot she was toking about her partner...but when i read on..it was because of her dad....
it has owayz been tat way..jus tat i haven seen her like tat before...
i tink while she was typing tat entry...she must be so angry she wanna kill someone that instance...maybe even if given the chance she would wanna kill her dad?? maybe....who noes?
dads....great and small...fat and thin...fierce and kind....bald and with hair....loving and deceitful??
personally i dunno wat kind of person is her dad but from how she describes him...he is a nightmare for every child...
i wont describe him here...its just not rite..i have to respect him in some ways...
if your dad was a sexist..how would you feel?
if my dad was a sexist...i would feel even more horrible then how she is feeling now..
being the only daughter in the family..it is oni fair that i feel miserable...
i dunno if my dad is a sexist..does he favour my brother more then me?
does it have any advantage at all being a guy?

elaine..i really noe wat ure going tru now...as i have experience tis myself...
its not as extreme as ures but still..it made me the underdog and i hated it as much as u did...
ure dad may owayz compare u wif ure sis and ure bro..so wat?
just as long as u noe tat ure better then them tats all it matters..
y even bother wat others might say?
u noe its not true..and the more u tink about it the more ure damaging ure self esteem...
when i was younger..my bro gets better things then me...
he goes to private schools...boarding private schools...and it costs a fortune..
and whenever he gets into trouble i am the first to get blamed..
we were like cats and dogs..
we cant sit still together without starting a fight or an argument..
i remember when we were in primary skewl..he hit me on the back and tat made me so mad i wanted to kill him...and yet all he gets is a lil scolding and i get the worst cuz i was the elder one..
its really unfair sometimes because he caused the shit and i am to blamed for his shit...
time passed and i grew up to be a lady...u should be too...despite the physical appearence..
im not trying to say ure dad is rite onot..maybe there is another side to the story..
maybe he is doing all tis to make u a stronger person...
i noe u are oredi a stronger person but it maybe likewise from ure dad's point of view...
he may favour boys more and favour ure younger sis more..that doesnt mean he isnt proud of ure doings...
he is...he should be..which parent arent proud of their own child?
you may feel he is being unfair..and even if he is...you wont even get the chance to be in ireland...
u should be thankful about it...but i guess ure not?
i shouldnt be saying all this..who am i to even advice u or anything..
im just me...and to u..i am not even as good as u....
ure bright and you should be smart enuf to figure tis out...
stop tinking how bad ure dad is treating you...
just pretend he is invinsible and i can tell u....
u say u hate him now but when time comes...u noe u dun mean it...
ure lucky to have a dad...olthou he isnt wat u want..
appreciate him elaine....u oni have one dad..no more...
i may dislike my dad for wat he had done to me..but its all over...i dun keep anger within anymore..i let it go and i am a better person...
u have to forgive and forget.....?
maybe he thinks tat he earns so much for u all and he expects you all to shine..not just ure bro and sista...
every family has its problems...wats ures i dunno...
you may be soooo eager to leave ure country and dissapear forever?
thats kinda sellfish of you...have u ever thought about ure family?
wat do u tink ure parents would tink of u? especially ure dad....
he is the one who made it possible for u to be who u are in the future...
arent u a little thankful at all?
u oni speak of his negative sides..how bout wat he has done for u althou its just a small thing?
im really sorry for saying all this but u have to look at things a diff way elaine..
relax..u'll get wat u wan soon...freedom and a world without ure dad...
im just thankful for where i am today....without my mum and dad...it wont even happen..
i cant even afford any of this...and they made it possible even its financially not supportive..
i may seem like a burden to them cuz my mum is not gonna work soon and my dad..he has to work so hard in keeping his company going...
my parents are oredi old enuf...and yet they still have to pay off both me and my bro....
i feel greatfull.....i may not come from a rich family but at least i am happy...
i have seen many of my frenz..they are filthy rich but their lifes are as miserable as they are...
just be thankful....dun hate someone cuz u tink he hates u too...
tats wrong...very wrong...family members dun hate each other..
no matter how much they dun like u..they wont hate u and wish tat u were an accident...

chill elaine....*big hug*...luv ya gal!! *cheerz*