ignore the last entry...i totally disagree now!!

in the last entry i said things were pretty good except for a few bumpz here and there...
but now..after wat happened yesterday..i dun agree anymore...its back to square one...
commitment...define commitment..wat the heck is it? because of tis things are gonna go bad no matter u just started a r/s, just got off one, or has been in one for a long time....or even if u haven board one yet..planning too maybe?
it seems tat because of this my last r/s was on rocky hillz...
if u wanna noe how i feel...just ask me...
dun make a big circle asking diff diff things then end up wif one simple question...
kay..maybe i started the circle but it was kinda obvious u wanted to get in one too...
u wanted the truth and u got it...i confessed and it wasnt a beautiful scene...
if i could turn back time...will i make the same decision again?
sadly the topic changed and i didnt get to answer it....
sigh for relief?? nope...it got me into my thinking hat again....
i sat in the corner wondering wat will happen if i did go back in time and changed my decision?
maybe we were gonna break a lil more...then get back together a bit more...
maybe if miss P and mr M wasnt in the scene..i would not have made tat decision..
but they were there...and miss P was the biggest threat...
is M a threat to u? guess not..cuz u had P there by u that whole entire nite...
u dun even needed me at all..
where were u when i cried..where were u when im down and needed u most?
on the phone with who?? frm here on..i noe ure gonna shoot me back wif ure words...
bout wat i did when u were upset and so on...
does tis mean we're even? not at all....i did my share in making mistakes and so did u...
tis is a 2 person game..not just u alone...
i exist too u noe..im not just an image on a photograph...
i didnt expect u to be flattered when u got my answer to ure question...
i didnt even expect myself telling u wat did happen...
so i cheated? as if u didnt? or did u do it just to make me feel even more guilty?
u said u were loosing me? in wat sense? did i tell u my heart was no longer there?
u can see tat wif ure own eyes...yea rite..wan an applause for tat onot?
at least i admit my mistakes but do u? i said i was sorry but u tink tat its just a word and it didnt make much difference anyway..rite?
it takes to to play this game...not 4 not 3...just 2 single beings...u and me...
u are really sellfish and u noe tat...u said u wanted me all to ureself..bt was i being shared by anyone else??
so wats the point turning back the time? if oni u could see the future during tat stage..
if u did and knew wat was gonna happen..maybe u could change a lil...
then maybe things will be diff today...but if i noe tat u were gonna call it quits when we go our seperate ways...i rather not go on...
knowing ure just waiting for tat day to come...and when it does come...u leave me?
tats not gonna work for me..it may work for ure gf now but now for me...
who u tink i am...when ure around u wan me..when ure not u leave me aside??
i wonder how she could accept such a thing...have she no feelings at all?
to be continued...........

ok...back frm dinner..had to leave my blog half way tru...
just now while i was away..i thought of someting....
someting i shdnt even tink about...dun wanna say it here la...later cause trouble...
back to where i left it....turning back the clock....
i want to go back in time to undo the tings i did wrong to u .... but will things change after that?
u owayz blame ppl (me for this case...)...u tink im a two timer...hmm..interesting....
if u noe me well enuf we wouldnt even end up here...
frm the start u oredi had the idea tat i like to flirt around wif others...
flirting isnt wrong or illegal in anyway...i guess i wanted attention cuz u werent giving me enuf!!
it may be unfair to u but it is oso unfair to me u noe...
being wif u is like im locked up and i cant do things i wan to...
some might even say wat u did was rite cuz luv is meant to be sellfish...maybe im a lil glad that u are possesive...cuz at least i noe u wont let others take me away...
but u did let me go...why? i wanna noe y...seriously...
was it because of a third and fourth party??
a part of me noe tat it isnt about them...its about u....
however....tats all the past..as for now..i wanna noe wats in ure mind...
i really wish one day u would tell me the truth....
i will wait for tat day...