its the way u make me smile and cry...

im suppose to take a nap geh...dunno y so sleepy!
i guess its the weather...its raining and my car is washed i hope :P
came upstairs, turn on the comp for music then ended up not napping but chatting =_="
u noe how it is sometimes when ure on9 but no one to tok to then there are the other times when u dun wanna chat but the messages keep coming? well i dislike them sometimes...but sometimes its nice cuz all of a sudden there is so many tings to tok about :/

didnt go to pit's house today cuz lazy and raining...
going tomolo...uni closed cuz anzac day...i really hope i can finish my 2 of my presentation tomolo...today i dressed so horribly...so mismatched! was rushing and my belt decide to break on me...i noe im fat bt tat wasnt the reason the belt broke...
i kept pulling it cuz my pants are sorta loose and my belt is rather long...so i pull pull pull now gone lor...
need to buy belt but belts here are just soo not me....
i use to hate wearing a belt last time but ever since i bought an elle office dress, my mum made me buy a belt and ive been wearing it ever since...till it broke of cuz hahaha..
now tat im without a belt..my pants keep falling off and i have to pull it up every 5 seconds!!

tonite going over to cousin's plc to rebook my flight...im going back a week earlier then scheduled...my last day of exam is 11 of june so i will change my flight to 12th :P
i told my mum and she asked me to come back and she say she will pay for the surcharge...
cuz i said it was so ex...S$35 to change leh...waste money!!
but my mum say dun care and she will pay so hooray...im changing it later :P
i guess she miss me alot alot thats why even one week oso she wants me to go back earlier...muahahaha...

yesterday we had lab and we were suppose to fast for 10 hours prior to the 2.30 lab..
obviously i didnt fast and im not the oni one...oni a few ppl fasted and lucky i didnt do it..or i'll faint...
it was a blood glucose exp and we had to prick our fingers for blood...
since i didnt do the fasting i just prick my finger for fun to see wat my blood glucose level was...
so painful la!! i couldnt bare pricking myself so my fren did it for me..wahliao it was painful...
the next lab oso need to fast...no way am i fasting...oredi chose a member to fast wahahaha...
the mark is still on my finger :(

i noe ive gone over tis a milion of times but im saying it again...
im an evil evil person....there are so many reasons to me saying tat over and over again...
i destroyed ppl's dreams...i made them dislike me for wat i do...i make them cry and worse of all..i make myself cry too....so how can i not be evil?
i smile to cover up the tears, cry to cover up the pain...but then i cant cry for those tat i deeply hurt...
i dunno how to make myself a better fren, a better companion and a better partner...
i seriously ask myself do i deserve the luv i get from those who say they luv me...
i wanna luv them back but i noe its impossible and i dun wanna persue it...
if i do i will end up hurting again....i dun wan anyone to hate me for luv..

is there gonna be a gathering tomolo? i seriously have no idea..
i just heard my aunt toking to my cousin about chicken wings?!?!?!
i wan chicken wings kakaka...
my aunt steam chicken today..but she very very seldom cook chicken rice weh...i oni at her chic rice once!! and my frenz keep asking me about my chic rice and when im gonna cook for them wahahaha...pure hainanese chic rice..wanna eat? come my kl house i cook for u anytime :P

gotta run now...wanna go to the toilet and go eat din din...
i'll post the pics soon hopefully...stay tuned...huggiez..muax!